My Aphorisms

I first started writing aphorisms in the early 1980s, when I was about 20. I practice the “spontaneous combustion” method of composition; that is, the aphorisms spontaneously occur in longer stretches of text. This is in contrast to the “deliberate composition” method, whereby an author deliberately sits down to write aphorisms and consciously works on individual lines to that end.

Once an aphorism appears, I do revise and rework it, if necessary. But most of my aphorisms emerge pretty much complete and intact.

Just one of the great gifts in my catalog
To get your own original Geary aphorism, on mugs and t-shirts, click here to go to my CafePress store »

 

Even what is nearest, most prolific, is invisible unless properly lit.

Following in other people’s footsteps is fine, as long as you are big enough to fill their shoes.

An infant’s smile is the universe’s seal of approval.

You only really discover the strength of your spine when your back is against the wall.

Open your hands and you open your heart.

People tend to salute anything unnaturally bright, at least until the shade from their hands reveals what it really is.

In the margin for error lies all our room for maneuver.

Young people should picnic in active volcanoes.

There are certain mistakes we enjoy so much that we are always willing to repeat them.

There is always time between beginnings to do the whole thing over again.

I would rather be a voice in the desert than a face in the crowd.

“I am nothing,” the Buddha said. “I really do not exist. I am an open window. I am a bus stop.”

What inures is ignored.

Tears always appear at the extremes, greasing the joints between pleasure and pain.

If you are in danger then you are really alive, like a nun’s orgasm.

You never know what you can do until you are tried.

It’s getting dark. Let’s celebrate.

Laughter blows away the dust from our eyes.

The art of writing is the art of knowing what to leave out.

You can’t expect a change of scenery if you never veer from the beaten track.

Eating is good because it gives you something to do. If you think too much, just order pizza.

Trying to consciously control your thoughts is like trying to install a faucet on Niagara Falls.

Who notices their feet unless there is a stone in their shoe?

You can never look in the same mirror twice.

Don’t celebrate when you finish something. Completion is just the first stage of collapse.

Imagine their embarrassment when all the members of the orchestra arrived at the performance wearing the same outfit.

It’s hard to think clearly in someone’s arms.

Too many facts spoil the plot.

There’s never nothing left to learn.

You must understand a thing completely before you can safely ignore it.

Money is poor compensation for all the time we lose in making it.

Burn your ships at night and in the morning build bridges.

Never be serious in public.

It is easy to get lost in the moment, and then to mistake that moment for eternity.

An animal must feel at least temporarily safe in order to really enjoy a meal.

Big things are accomplished by accomplishing little things first.

Why I like juggling: The illusion of flight, deft mastery of falling’s art; because to have what you hold you have to throw it away as soon as it’s caught.

In a crisis, inspiration is better than consolation.

The serenity that often comes with age consists primarily of the realization that we can’t do much about anything anyway.

Cultivate a certain distance from yourself, as one tends to avoid radiation.

At night, after the children have gone to sleep, we can hide their presents all over the house.

To get your foot in the door, first get it out of your mouth.

Use sharpens a dull axe.

After a certain age, we are granted a new way of telling time: counting the people we know who have died.

The dark side retains its power by imposing a blackout.

Our mistakes make us interesting.

A thread’s only strength is clinging.

Prepare for spontaneity — now.

You can’t warm yourself at a distant fire.

Sometimes, two goldfish in a bowl are enough.

Never trust an animal — no matter how many legs it has.

Not many people live in the desert.

When in doubt, remain in doubt.

Life: adjusting a necktie in a funhouse mirror.

Rehearse the minor hurts enough and the major ones don’t hurt.

X + Y = You

The long, lonely walk back to the drawing board concentrates the mind wonderfully.

Sometimes, you need a door slammed in your face before you can hear opportunity knock.

People lose common sense when they gain dollars and cents.

What we do while doing nothing cannot be done in haste.

There is not much room for error in an eggshell.

Advice is given freely because so much of it is worthless.

A smile looks a lot like a wince.

All thinking is wishful thinking.

The Earth does not regret its orbit.

To see clearly, one must very often squint.

Familiarity breeds complacency not contempt.

A postcard, circa 1985, with one of my aphorisms on it, from Annex Productions

 

Zikison

September 2009

Serbian publicationA handful of my aphorisms appear in Zikison 65, a weekly journal of political satire, cartoons and humor published in the Balkans.

Het Grootste Citatenboek ter Wereld

August 2009

Buy the book OnlineBelgian publicationSome of my aphorisms are included in Het Grootste Citatenboek ter Wereld (The Biggest Quotation Book in the World), compiled by Belgian gnomologist Gerd de Ley. The book contains some 35,000 quotations from roughly 10,000 authors.