Aphorisms on Signs
Posted on September 29, 2009
Filed Under Aphorisms | 7 Comments
Well, we’ve had God’s aphorisms, as seen on church billboards. Now it’s time for everyman’s aphorisms, as seen on signs hung in or outside places of business. Though some of these may be apocryphal, they all are pretty amusing…
At a gynecologist’s office:
Dr. Jones, at your cervix.
On a plumber’s truck:
We repair what your husband fixed.
On another plumber’s truck:
Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.
On an electrician’s truck:
Let us remove your shorts.
On a maternity ward door:
Push! Push! Push!
At an optometrist’s office:
If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.
Outside a muffler shop:
No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.
In front of a funeral home:
Drive carefully. We’ll wait.
Comments
7 Responses to “Aphorisms on Signs”
Leave a Reply
In, The World’s End pub’s men’s toilet, Chelsea, c. 1978:
We aim to please, you aim too please!
Above a drugstore counter:
No Prescriptions for Life.
In God we trust: All others pay cash.
A trade sign (popular in small stores across USA in the Great Depression).
In front of a big church:
Last stop of a long and winding road.
In front of a whore house:
All ready.
“Hi.I am Dennis, and hope to be your dentist.” (Done in one kind of Philadelphia accent the name and the profession will sound quite close.)
I know this is back to the god Business, but a letter board outside of a Methodist church in Richmond, VA read:
” A darkness no bleach can touch”